Marriage & Funerals

Table Of Contents
  1. | Marriage
  2. | Funerals

| Marriage

At Life Church we are committed to promoting healthy, successful, biblical marriages. In Matthew’s Gospel, some Pharisees come to Jesus to test his response to a controversy over the issue of divorce. Jesus addresses their question by referring back to God’s original plan for marriage: 

“Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’    and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’ ?  So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.“

At Life Church our support is focused on marriages that meet the following criteria:

We support marriages between one man and one woman. By man, we mean a person born male and identifying as male. By woman, we mean a person born female and identifying as female. This is in keeping with God’s original intention for marriage reflected in the passage above.
We support marriage in which both partners are Christians. This means that both partners demonstrate a commitment to following Jesus in a publicly verifiable way. This is because our guidance and advice are intended for people who are committed to following Jesus and who want their marriages to  be guided by his teaching. We have no reasonable expectation that people who aren’t committed to following Jesus will be willing to follow our advice.

Premarital Counseling

In order to promote healthy, successful marriages Life Church provides extensive pre-marital counseling (currently a 12-week program). Successful completion of the pre-marital counseling program is mandatory for couples who wish to be married by Life Church pastoral staff members. Those who wish to participate must meet the following criteria:

In keeping with our marriage support criteria above, they must be of opposite gender. The laws of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts or any other state notwithstanding, we will only provide premarital counseling for couple consisting of a man and a woman.
Both partners must demonstrate their commitment to following Jesus Christ in a publicly verifiable way.
Although some exceptions are possible, both partners should be under the pastoral care of the Life Church pastoral staff. This will normally mean that they are current members or in the process of becoming members of Life Church. Ideally, they should have been with us for at least a year. This allows multiple members of the congregation to have a chance to get to know them and gives the pastoral leadership a better basis for understanding the couple by observing their interactions with others.
If either of the parties seeking to marry has been divorced, we may or may not be able to provide premarital counseling. Our ability to provide premarital counseling will ultimately be determined on an individual basis through meeting with a member of the pastoral staff.

Here are some resources we use for pre-marital counseling:

Before You Say “I Do” by H. Norman Wright

Marriage Counseling

Life Church provides counseling to support marriages. The goal of this counseling is to help couples build healthy and successful marriages as they follow Jesus together. Please note that we are not licensed therapists and we will, from time to time, recommend professional counselors who can provide more focused attention.

In keeping with our general marriage policy, the marriage partners we counsel must be of opposite gender. The laws of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts or any other state notwithstanding, we will only provide marriage counseling for couples consisting of a man and a woman.
Both partners must demonstrate their commitment to following Jesus Christ in a publicly verifiable way.
Although some exceptions are possible, both partners should be under the pastoral care of the Life Church pastoral staff. This will normally mean that they are current members or in the process of becoming members of Life Church. This allows multiple members of the congregation to have a chance to get to know them and gives the pastoral leadership a better basis for understanding the couple by observing their interactions with others.

Here are some marriage resources:

Marriage Builders
The Generous Husband
The Generous Wife
The Marriage Bed
Doing Marriage Well

Weddings

The Bible teaches that marriage was established by God to join a man and a woman in a lifetime union that symbolizes the relationship between Jesus and his Church. At Life Church we want to do everything possible to support successful marriages. For this reason we require that couples who want to marry meet the following criteria:

They must be of opposite gender. The laws of the Commonwealth of Massachusetts or any other state notwithstanding, we will only perform a marriage between a man and a woman. When we use the terms “man” and “woman“, we are referring to cisgendered individuals – persons whose gender identify matches their sex assigned at birth.
Both partners must demonstrate their commitment to following Jesus Christ in a publicly verifiable way.
Although some exceptions are possible, both partners should be under the pastoral care of the Life Church pastoral staff. This will normally mean that they are current members or in the process of becoming members of Life Church.
Both partners must complete the Life Church pre-marital counseling program.
If either of the parties seeking to marry has been divorced, we may or may not be able to perform a wedding ceremony. Our ability to perform the wedding will ultimately be determined on an individual basis through meeting with a member of the pastoral staff.

Divorce

Divorce is a difficult topic:

Divorce is the failure of a marriage.
Since marriage involves 2 people, divorce involves at least 2 perspectives on what went wrong.
These 2 perspectives often differ

All of us are affected by divorce:

Some of our members have been divorced.
Many of us have friends or family members who have been divorced.

At Life Church we want to:

Help everyone understand what the Bible actually teaches about divorce.
Help those who are considering divorce to act biblically.
Help those who have been divorced against their will to find comfort and healing.

Because divorce is such a painful and complex topic, we will not attempt to lay out a detailed divorce policy here. Instead, we invite you to explore the biblical teaching on divorce along with its historical and cultural context and then discuss your personal situation with our pastoral leadership.

For the time being, our best resources on this topic are in our discipleship teaching on the passage in the Gospel of Matthew where we’ve provided significant resources to help you understand what scripture teaches on this subject.

Following Jesus: Focus On The Message – Matthew 19
Lesson 1: Divorce

This lesson includes references to related passages, and links to help videos that explain the historical context. You will also find links to some books that provide an excellent treatment of the subject.

| Funerals

At Life Church we are committed to supporting those who are under our pastoral care during times of personal loss. Contact the church office for more information.